Like some of you I watch TV and I'm a woman. Since marketers have media placement demographics down to a science I watch commercials that appeal to my lack of self-confidence and lack of self-control in spending. So I HAD to try the "BIORE SELF HEATING MASK" I've had a couple chemical peels at the doctor's office so I'm not afraid of skin technology, or so I thought.

In the past I bought the BIORE pore cleaning strips. The directions were hard to follow. "Wet your face, don't wet your hands, with dry hands remove the backing from the strip, apply to wet face" I couldn't keep my nose wet. I couldn't keep my hands dry. The Band-Aid shaped piece of paper, dried and hardened like quikcrete. I ripped it off, stared at it and was grossed out. Not as cool as those "Jell-O" peel off masks. I was not impressed. But I'm a sucker. As usual, I went to the store for something I needed and instead paced up and down the "skin care" aisle like a junkie, eyes darting and hands grabbing, futilely trying to decipher ingredients and match products with shelf price stickers. The Pond's Cooling Cucumber Eye Pads were like $8.99 so I got the "BIORE SELF HEATING MASK" for $5.75.

THESE ARE THE WEIRDEST BEAUTY PRODUCTS I HAVE EVER BOUGHT!! The only thing that comes close would be non latex over the counter birth control products. They come wrapped in sealed foil packets/ampoules that you snap apart. Think of Sudafed packaging on steroids. They feel cold to the touch, cold, metallic, creepy, and unfriendly.

The directions on the package read 1. Wet Face 2. Apply Mask Avoid eye area 3. Massage about 60 seconds 4 Rinse. The box has expanded directions "Dry hands, open packet and apply mask to face. You may add a little water to your fingers to spread the mask" Apparently it turns blue when it's done, after 60 seconds. Well at least this time I was allowed to wet my hands.

I snapped one open and squashed it out. It looked like Gleem toothpaste: thick, white and pasty with blue chunky bits. It didn't have much of a smell, no fruit, no mint, no earthy goodness, but it was beginning to warm up on my slightly damp hand. I rubbed it on my face and the more I rubbed the hotter it got. It was thick and sticky so it was difficult to rub in. I wet my fingers, as directed but then my fingers just slipped over the gunk and didn't really move it around.

While massaging my face, waiting for ir to turn blue it occurred to me that the blue bits were dissolving perhaps facilitating the chemical reaction and that the blue color that signaled the end of the mask's treatment time also signaled the end of the chemical reaction. My face did get hot, not warm, but "day on beach without a hat HOT". After about 3 minutes of massaging the mask it finally cooled and it turned the palest, pastel blue. What a bummer, I wanted my face to turn the "Aztec death mask turquoise" that I saw on TV.

I washed it off quickly. My face did not feel sparkly squeaky clean, it was kinda sore from the force it took to move the thick paste. I felt used and degraded. I do not recommend this product.

If I did a project on how this stuff worked, I could win a blue ribbon at a science fair. I turned to the packaging for more information. There wasn't even any dumbed down explanations of the beauty benefits of thermo-chemical reactions. I called 1-888-BIORE11 and got a hilarious voice mail telling me to call back between 9-5 eastern time or "press 1 to speak to medical help if you are having a medical emergency" The next day I called back and got ANOTHER voice mail system that basically said we'll try to call you back in a day or two if you leave a message or you can fax us with a question.
BEEP

"Hi, I'm a 10th grader and I have to do a science fair project and I was wondering if you can tell me how your "BIORE SELF HEATING MASK" works? I think it's really cool and uses lots of weird chemicals you'd never put in a bunny's eye...