Help My Friend has Fleas!

Dear Smartie Pants,
I love my kitty cats and puppies dogs and backyard but somehow they've all conspired against me this summer and now I have fleas, in the house and eek, possibly on me. What to do?
Truly,
Very Nice Person

Dear Person,
Getting fleas from your pet may be less fun than getting crabs from a hottie, but is more socially acceptable. I used to live way down yonder where fleas were a common pest. My advice is...

1. birth control...kill eggs
declutter, wash up and vacuum, wash fabrics in hottest water they'll stand, vacuum sofas, pillows, mattresses - anything that itches, throw the vac bag in trash RIGHT AWAY

2. air tight seal & bomb
plastic up all the leaky air spots, find a flea bomb, follow directions, buy enough of them and go for a car ride with the animals while the bomb is bombing, usually 4-6 hours (if you have gas pilot lights see if you should take special precautions)

3. prevention/future containment
go to this site http://www.drsfostersmith.com/ and buy some critter chemicals, and try to give them varmints their own beds so in the future they infect their own beds and sofas not yours
good luck!

*and then*

Very Nice Person wrote they were going to have the pets dipped, deloused and boarded during the bombing, hope it worked!

Pictured above are two pests. One can be destroyed by bombing. One is louder while bombed.
Go on, ask a question.