Right now somewhere in America a young girl is discovering her uniqueness and is inconsolable over it. If she's lucky someone is patting her on the back and telling her that fulfillment and confidence is possible for those without straight blonde hair, slim ankles, blue eyes and perfect skin. If she ain't lucky, her ma/sister/baby-sitter is saying "don't make fun of my ass, I can tell yours is gonna be huge the way you eat, oink oink, lil miss thunder thighs"

The genetic lottery threw me and my sisters super thick hair and shiny skin. My younger sis often asks me in panicked tones what "works" on our troubled skin. But this isn't a story about healing - it's about concealment and pretense. We'll deal with troubled skin another day and focus on how to keep from shining like an oil slick especially during the sticky summer season.

We all know the beauty trinities, round, square, oval, normal, dry , oily, cleanse, tone, moisturize, lather rinse, repeat. Now that that's out of the way I'm hear to inform one how to beat the shine every time. Apologies to those sensitive, dry, peeling gals, there ain't much here for ya, but I do try to keep it fun reading.

Here's some quick tips if you have oily skin but would rather not shine (assuming you don't want to keep dabbing at your nose with a yukked out powder puff or go wash your face in the middle of the day)

1. don't use alcohol based products, like seabreeze, 10 0 6 or damn near every other toner out there. Neutragena make s a fine alcohol free one, so does L'Oreal. The alcohol causes a "rebound" effect. It removes so much oil and is so drying, your skin pumps out even more lube right away.

2. do moisturize a little because you don't want crows feet before your time. Try an oil free one or maybe a light one with a sunscreen. Clean and Clear makes a nice one with a wee bit of salicylic acid and Shisedo has a neat oil free lotion gel. I've done OK with small amounts of generic "oil of Old Age" w/ spf 15.

3. pamper your pressed powder compact. When your powder puff starts to look like an old oven mitt go buy a new one, you don't want your greasy ol powder puff yukking up your $ powder. If your compact came with a lil piece of plastic between the powder and puff, keep it, use it.

4. do something with your hair. Get it off your face when you can. I'm not saying live your life in a scrunchie but keeping it off your face can help eliminate spreading the shine and greasy hair. Also try a bandana/ babushka during car rides with the window open.

5. USE PRODUCT This is a capitalist world, if you have $ and a problem, some one wants to make you happy and wee bit poorer. Shine Stopperz Product Reviews no bias here, I paid for all these with my own dime so it's taken me over a year of research to compile this.

Corn Silk All hail cornsilk, been using the stuff since I was getting paid by the column inch and a sophomore in high school. I swear by the loose and pressed powders. They recently added a "less coverage" powder, haven't tried it. Concealer is OK, a bit too drying and it's hard to smooth out. Foundation was OK for short trips, tended to oil overload and feel goopy and slippy and "there" by 3 PM. Haven't used it a while, so it may be better. Corn silk now makes a blotting paper to, yipee!

Blotting Paper It's just a book made of pieces of powdered tissue paper. You simply use it to blot shine away then discard, low tech, discrete and they look like rolling papers. A must even for those who hate makeup. Man, someone just jacked the price on these and I'm pissed. Used to find them with their cool baroque dame cover at Douglas and Crabby & Eve for $1.95 for a huge pack. Not any more.

Clean and Clear sells a pack of 20 for $5, and the body shop repackaged them and is selling them for $6. Sephora.com has them for $7 a pack and they come in a cool aluminum case. Shisedo has some but they're huge and I know quite expensive.

My amazing stylist told me his friend steals those "toilet saftey paper seat liner thingies" cuts them into small squares and uses them as blotters. Haven't tried that yet, but the price is right.

Need a slightly larger heavy duty version for the dog days? Simply get a clean hanky or bandanna and sprinkle it with talc or powder. Shake out the excess then toss into your bag for a quite bit of fresh ness when it's way too humid. Great on the back of the neck or a sticky elbow when it's TOO hot!

Matte Makers
A quick note about the following-they are a new product category and they are usually clear gel based products with no tint designed to combat shine. I have no idea how they work. I hope they aren't bad for me.

T controle Matifying Gel - Lancome approx $18 Sucked, hated it, was way too thick and gloopy, didn't have staying power felt slippy and gross and crawly by 3 PM. Didn't give the effect I expected from a "powder gel". Skip it.

Invisible Shine Control - Clear and Clear makes this and it retails around $7. Great packageing that separates the puff from the stuff and has a mirror. Really love this, cheap, works, goes on easy. Does have a slight blue tinge that is good if you're reddish and ruddy but can look weird if you don't apply evenly.

Sheer Matteness T-Zone Shine Control - Clinique approx $12 Nice gel consistency, didn't quite last all day, but didn't get creepy gross feeling. Would buy again. Lasted quite a while for such a small tube. A good choice.

Chanel Precision T Controlle Chanel approx $25 Smelled nice, like baby butt stuff. Almost runny product tended to dry sorta streaky. Not great lasting power, better than Lancome. Wouldn't buy again.

SmashBox Cosmetics Anti-Shine Approx $26 (available at QVC and also here) Super duper, and available in different tints as well as clear, so it's great to wear alone or if your a guy or bald or whatever. It's a real thick gel that comes in a tube. It's easy to apply, doesn't get the gross draggy feeling until 7 PM. or so. If you use the tint be sure to blend well, to avoid streaks. These guys define the category. They used to sell a lil jar of super shine stopper but I think they stopped making it. I always have a tube, I love it, it's much better than cats, I'll use it again and again. (please join me) I love it, it's much better than cats, I'll use it again and again.